I guess I was about fifteen – maybe a little younger – when I first found out about this thing called fanfiction, with the increase of my time online (better internet connections and all that) I found myself spending more and more time on websites like, Livejournal and the old ‘Prophecy’ message board where I started playing RPG’s. I loved it, and I had a lot of fun doing that – interacting with other people from around the globe in a really creative way. It was another creative outlet, one in which you can be  anyone you like. And for me writing had always been something I liked to do even though until that particular point I had never shared any of my writing. While playing those message-board RPG’s I found myself challenged to write a fic by some other players. And that really is how I started to write and since than I never really stopped. Writing is a way to express myself, some wishes and dreams are woven into my stories. Sometimes I use real life experiences as a base and sometimes it’s all fiction but what’s real and what’s pure fiction well that is my secret.

It’s all in the subtext

Let’s be honest here. If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender you are pretty much screwed when it comes to role models. Of course there are shows like ‘The L Word’ and ‘Lipservice’, which are lesbian shows and almost every female character is gay. But in most shows you have either characters who mention that they are gay but never act on it or never seem to be dating or in a relationship (for instance Maggie Doyle, ER – Jorja Fox). It’s hard to find a true role-model in that sense in a regular show. So if that is what you are looking for you mostly have to search for it in the subtext and we dive right into it. A touch of the hands , a gaze, a smile or a caring gesture can be enough for us. Such a simple gesture can be enough for us to write the stories we don’t see on the screen. And while not everyone might understand what we do, or might not be able to see it all we want is the same thing everyone else wants to see. We want to see a blossoming courtship which grows from a first meeting to first date. A future between two characters … a love story. And does it really matter if that love story is between two men, two women or a man and a woman. Apparently it does matter even if it shouldn’t. Love is love no matter who is loving who.

Does that mean that everything is femslash?

No, I don’t ship just any two female characters. There are characters who I truly love but can’t see in a gay relationship. It’s strange how that works but not every female character can be gay in my honest opinion. For instance Kate Todd of NCIS (Sasha Alexander), I could never see her as a lesbian. While at the same time Sasha Alexander in her role as Dr. Maura Isles on Rizzoli & Isles oozes the gay like there is no tomorrow. Every time either Jane (Angie Harmon) or Maura does something the other person automatically is there as well even if they have no business being there at all.

Of course I’m talking about the tv show Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles here because the book characters are completely different. They are indeed just friends and definitively not anything more but the tv characters however they can’t keep their eyes and hands off of each other.

Meanwhile ever since the first episode of NCIS aired I knew that Abby Sciuto (Pauley Perrette) would be a rather easy to write as gay or bisexual character. But there was no other female to slash her with at least not a main character. So it wasn’t until Ziva David (Coté de Pablo) and Jenny Shepard (Lauren Holly) arrived that I could actually change that – and with me so did other people.

Luckily these last couple of years things have been changing, more and more gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual characters seem to be appearing on more and more shows.  I’m really happy with that.

I have written a couple of stories that didn’t involve femslash couples, often though I have to admit, it where story-lines that wouldn’t have worked for a gay couple. A good example of that would be ‘Never Quite Discussed’ (a Tony/Ziva -NCIS fic). Though I have to admit that on average these stories are one-shots or drabbles. My longer stories are almost always femslash, I always add a warning to the heading of the story so if you are not willing to read a femslash story make sure that you read the headings.


I absolutely despise them, they are utterly useless and stupid. I never engage in them Just let everyone like who ever they like and if that is something you don’t like just let it be. Maybe it is because I am bisexual, maybe there is a different reason but I really don’t mind reading all kinds of couples, gay and straight. If a story is good enough it can convince me to like a couple I never might have considered before. Just be open-minded.


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