Camp Nanowrimo, the final day


Yes, here it is! The final day of Camp Nanowrimo the April edition has passed by faster than I expected. And that is reason enough to make another blog post about my writing efforts this past month. There are some questions which have been playing on my mind these past couple of days.

Was Camp everything I hoped for it to be? Did I meet my goal? Am I happy with the results? What could I have done to improve my game? And what’s next? All legitimate questions at the end of a month which was supposed to be full of writing, plotting, character builds and so much more. So let me take some time to answer them one by one.

First of all I want to do a shout-out to my Nano-friends, we were in a Cabin together and even though I might not have reached my goal our group did reach the combined amount of words we’d pledged to write this month.

Was Camp everything I hoped for it to be?

Well, I certainly wrote more than I did in previous months, so in that regard yes it was. But before the month started I had hoped that this would be a sort of push in the right direction. I wanted to work on my story, at least that was the idea. Because I think that I truly have something interesting in my hands. Instead however I’ve been writing many different things, mostly blog posts and upcoming book reviews for my blog. I have been working on course assignments for a FutureLearn course and more. And I only spend one actual write-ins working on my actual story. I could have done better, that is as clear as day.

Did I meet my goal?

The short answer is no. Even if I’d passed the line of 10 000 words I would not have met my goal. My goal was to get back to writing on my story and that is not what happened.

What could I have done to improve my game?

Easy answer, sit my ass down behind the computer and work on the damn story or even just grab a notebook and start writing … instead I was more occupied with getting my Agent level up on The Division. Okay, I worked overtime, did a course for my job and started a course for myself. And I did work on blog posts, so I have certainly been writing. As previously mentioned my goal was to get back to working on my story and since I only did that one night I really can’t say that I reached my goal.

And what’s next?

If I decided to commit to Camp Nanowrimo in July I will really have to step up my game and I should probably work on my storyline and the plot for the rest of the story before I can actually do that. Because right now I’m kind of a loose cannon. I have no real idea of what to do next because I never got any  further than this point with my plot-line. That is what I’m going to focus on for the next few weeks. I need to get some new ideas for my plot and then I can actually commit to writing and reaching goals in writing.

Depending on what my writer’s group will do and how my plot-line progresses I will decide whether or not I am going to join Camp Nanowrimo later this year.

Camp Nanowrimo is fun and it certainly gets me to write more but so far I’ve never managed to reach my goal and win. I don’t mind so much because it’s less important to me than the November version of Nanowrimo. But it certainly is on my list of things I want to do.


Fanfiction, the end of an era


I did it.

I ‘deleted’ my account. Apparently you can’t actually delete it, which I think is strange I am allowed to delete every story and give my account a strange username which no one will ever find and use a temporary e-mail address. But even though it’s empty you can’t delete it. Even if I would have wanted to revive the account again I couldn’t do it, I made sure of that.

Before I did anything rash I have to admit that I made sure that I downloaded all of my fics, made screenshots of all the information about the stories, stats and more. I also made screenshots of all the reviews I’ve received over the years. Many of them are positive or at the very least constructive criticism – that you can work with and learn from. And there are also some flames, mostly from anonymous reviewers, which I don’t take too serious because usually I got flames for the fact that 90% of my work is based on femmeslash (girl-on-girl relationships). It’s quite funny to see that warning people two, three times before they start reading a story  that a story is femmeslash doesn’t suffice and they feel the need to flame you.

Anyway that is not what this is about. I actually used Scrivener to make a decent back-up. For myself, for future reference. Who knows what will happen, maybe I’ll take a look at those stories at a later time and decide to post some of them again. There are definitively a couple I’m really proud off. It has become quite a big database and I’m proud of that. To be honest some of the numbers are simply baffling. I started my account on on April 5th 2003 and I last used it in 2014. There were a couple of stories which I never finished – so-called WIP’s (works in progress).

For this past year and a half I haven’t been working on anything fanfiction related … nothing. Not a single word. Since I’ve been watching plenty of shows in the meantime – I’ve been loving plenty of story lines and characters for that matter – so there have been opportunities enough to write something. But I haven’t, which made me decide that it is time to delete the account. I felt like I was trying to give people the impression that I would update my stories if I kept it open. And I know that is not going to happen.

If I ever feel the need to start posting something I will read through it and adapt it before posting it again. And I will never again post something which is not completed. Because it will make it easier to not get pulled in by the comments reviewers make. The story is done and you don’t have to change direction, for me it was sometimes difficult to say no when someone asked me to show a certain scene or go a certain route. Sometimes I felt like it was more about pleasing the reader than telling the story I wanted to tell.

It’s the end of an era, that is what it feels like however I’m not sad about it. It was a great run, I have done some cool things and I wrote some good stories and some I rather not think about. But it was a learning process and I certainly learned a  lot.

Who knows what the future will bring, for now I’m going to focus on some courses I’m following and on my original story.

Nanowrimo Winner!


As impossible as it seemed for the biggest part of the month I can proudly say I did it! Seven out of seven wins and the best win so far!

Some stats I’d like to share with you:

Word count by day:
Wednesday November 4th804
Thursday November 5th509
Friday November 6th902
Saturday November 7th1519
Sunday November 8th1296
Monday November 9th1877
Tuesday November 10th1076
Wednesday November 11th956
Thursday November 12th1101 – 10K
Friday November 13th730
Saturday November 14th5065
Sunday November 15th3553
Monday November 16th304
Tuesday November 17th796 – 20K
Wednesday November 18th516
Thursday November 19th0
Friday November 20th0
Saturday November 21st2024
Sunday November 22th1291
Monday November 23th2210
Tuesday November 24th659
Wednesday November 25th801
Thursday November 26th0
Friday November 27th6000 – 30K
Saturday November 28th5552
Sunday November 29th3231 – 40K
Monday November 30th8212 -50K

That means that I had nine days where I reached the daily word count target or blew past it. Six days with a zero as a word count. My magic word count line was at 5000 words, I surpassed that number 5065 (14th)-  6000 (27th) – 5552 (28th) – 8212 (30th). I got my work cut out for me next year!

National Novel Writing Month 2015-11-30 20-37-22

There is another post coming up about my story and the changes I made, since this was a re-write of last years project. Because I think that these changes made my story better.

And about the way that I used Scrivener, because that program is awesome! It helped me a lot during Nanowrimo.

It’s the final day!


Yes, Nanowrimo 2015 is coming to an end! This month has been an absolute roller coaster for me. There is only one thing I can say when it comes to writing. I did the best I could and in hindsight I think that I have literally crossed some lines. For the first time winning wasn’t really the goal. I was happy with every single word I wrote down.

I crossed lines when it comes to my daily word counts, this had been the year where I’ve had the most days with a grand total of zero words … yes, no words at all. At the same time it has also been the year where I’ve managed to write the highest word counts in a day and I’ve broke that personal record a few times over. Especially these last couple of days. I don’t want to say too much because I don’t think it’s necessary to talk about what happened this past month but what I can tell you is that I had a really difficult month. Early on I felt like I probably wouldn’t make it and I decided that I didn’t care. That I would be proud with whatever word count I would end with.

Before this year – and we can look back at our old novel stats in our accounts on – I think my maximum was at 5000 words or somewhere around that number. This year I have reached the magic line of writing 5000 words in a day a couple of times and even surpassed it. Especially these last couple of days. Which is ultimately the only reason why I made it this far and might even make it to the finish line. I’m well on my way only two thousand five-hundred words left …

I’ve been writing all day and it’s going really well. So I really feel comfortable that I will make it. And that makes me even prouder. If I do I will write another post to celebrate what I did and give you a little bit more about my story. Reveal some of what I’ve been working on.

National Novel Writing Month 2015-11-30 16-27-25




WOW! I might just make it!


So I had already set myself up for a total Nanowrimo fail! Not that I was pessimistic about my story or that I was stuck or anything. It’s just that there was so much I had to figure out during these last couple of weeks. And my personal life was causing so much stress that I couldn’t really get any writing done.

As a matter of fact the little writing that I did get done feels really good to me. I feel like I’m really working on something interesting here and I’ve never felt this way before. Well that’s not completely true, I’ve felt this way before once. At the time I was really angry about something that happened with some of my favorite television show characters or rather the actors. It doesn’t matter who it was but two actors were fired over something really minor stuff that happened. The thing was that immediately after these actors were fired there was talk about different actors replacing them. Literally, as in going to be the same characters. In my honest opinion that is never a good idea. It really ticked me off and I decided that I rather had two major characters – who I loved – die then see them replaced over such a small issue. I wrote a scene that in my eyes did justice to the situation and gave the fans a ‘satisfying ending’ to these character – if that was even possible. I sat down started typing and didn’t stop till I was done. I was completely immersed in the scene and to this day if I re-read that particular story I am still doubting that I’m the person who wrote that. I know that I did, however there is something different about it.  Something which I can’t really put my finger on. This happened years ago and has no real relevance today because the television channel caved under the pressure of the social network following – it was the first time I witnessed what fans can achieve – in and took both actors back. And both of them served out most of the remaining years on the show. No, I’m not talking about Paget Brewster and AJ Cook this time.

As I said this happened years ago and it has no real relevance to Nanowrimo 2015, the reason why I’m telling you this is that during this for me personally extremely difficult month I achieved to write my story with that exact same feeling. I was stressed out, had a lot of anger inside of me because of the way I’ve been treated by people who I trusted. So it would only be natural to assume that I wouldn’t really be able to set those feelings aside and that it would have influenced my writing. However when I had a little bit of spare time and I actually was able to sit down I could put all of that aside and get completely immersed in my story.  It’s an amazing feeling and it gave me time to relax. And that is why I feel so good about my writing this year. Do I know if it is any good. Not yet. So far I haven’t been reading what I’ve written so I don’t know. But I am really grateful that the crap that has been going on in my personal life has happened in this month. Because I don’t think that I could have stayed this positive if I didn’t have Nanowrimo this month.

And I’ve surpassed a number I never imaged possible this month! I reached 40 000 words! I know that if I want to reach my goal I have to be done tomorrow night. I’m not sure if I will reach that goal but I’m much closer than I ever imagined possible. My writing has been going really slow, you can see it in my stats, but I had a couple of awesome days and since the situation that I was in kind of came to a conclusion on Wednesday the 25th I have been having one awesome day after another. Purely because the biggest stress factor is gone and because I’m in the zone with this story. It’s crazy.

I was happy with each and every word I have written during this month but now that I’m this close …

Who knows, I might just make it after all.

National Novel Writing Month 2015-11-29 11-45-40

The final week


No words, so nothing to say besides that I was too busy with other stuff. I wasn’t able to join the write-in which is a shame and obviously part of the reason why I didn’t get any words done on Friday. I went home to my parents for the weekend so Friday after work was spend on the road and on the couch with my mom. Which is a great way to start the weekend. Besides that I knew that I would have the time during the day on Saturday.

Thursday November 19th – Word count Thursday: 0
Friday November 20th – Word count Friday: 0

It’s the weekend! And getting to the daily word count is a little bit easier during the weekend than any other day of the week. In general you have a little bit more time during those days than you have during the week when I spend a lot of time at work. Anyway ever since I started writing this version of this story (it’s a re-write of last years Nanowrimo’s  project) I have been so content with what I am writing. It really works somehow, and if I’m unsure of where to go with a certain part of the story it somehow gets solved while I’m writing. Things I was unsure of even during the prep period are now getting cleared up while I’m writing the scenes. My story is going really well. I know that my word count is telling a different story but since the first day of November I have been dealing with a crisis situation at work and it takes up an awful lot of time and is putting a lot of pressure on me. Nevertheless I feel good about my story and the part that I have written, the words just flow. Maybe I’m grasping for something because at this moment this is basically the thing that keeps me going. When I’m writing I can put all the worries aside for a while. I’d hoped that I would have been able to get more writing done but I didn’t and that’s fine.

Saturday November 21th – Word count Saturday: 2024
Sunday November 22th – Word count Sunday: 1291

For a Monday 2210 words is a lot, usually Mondays aren’t my best day for writing but yesterday went pretty well I added a completely new scene. One that I had been wondering about. My main character needed to break out of prison, get to a safe place with some unexpected help and that was one of those parts which I hadn’t worked out yet. I still wasn’t sure what would happen however while I was writing the scene started to develop into a full fletched break out of jail scene. And besides that I broke through the 25 000 words line and that’s a great thing, just a little shame that it happened on the 23th of November. Chances are that I will not make it this year and I am fine with that. It’s a tad bit sad that things aren’t working out this year, it would have been my seventh win in a row and the seventh year I’m participating. So I won’t be able to keep that streak going and that’s a shame on the other side there is a lot I’m dealing with and every word I did write this month is a win. Reaching 25 000 words is a huge win, especially since I’m so content with what I am writing.

Monday November 23th – Word count Monday: 2210
Tuesday November 24th – Word count Tuesday: 659

National Novel Writing Month 2015-11-24 23-05-29

Day fifteen – the halfway point

Nanowrimo 2015 Participant

There is not a whole lot to tell about the first couple of days of the second week of Nanowrimo. I know that this week is also referred to as hell week but in my case it has been a wonderful week or at least it was a wonderful weekend!!! Damn! I really got ahead in my story, I am so happy when it comes to my writing. November on the other hand has been a time of extreme high and the lowest of lows.

Monday November 9th – Word count Monday: 1877
Tuesday November 10th – Word count Tuesday: 1076
Wednesday, November 11th – Word count Wednesday: 956

Thursday, November 12th
My first 10K!

Wohoo! I reached them finally at day 12 my first 10K. I know I’m doing really lousy and that I’m way behind. But seriously walk a mile in my shoes … lately there has been so much going on in my personal life and I’ve been getting so much crap thrown at me that right now I’m not even sure I’ll ever reach the 50K. Chances are that I won’t and that would really suck because so far I’ve always been able to make it. But this year (this whole year had been pretty bad, but lately it has gotten worse) the bar might just have been set too high. I feel confused, exhausted, disappointed but most of all I feel used. And I have to deal with so much at this moment that I really don’t see me reaching the 50k before the end of the month. But we’ll see how things will turn out, I’m just going to continue writing and use this as way to get some stress relieve, because that is what I really need right now. I’m currently just surviving, nothing more and nothing less.

Word count Thursday: 1101

Friday November 13th, Saturday November 14th and Sunday November 15th

The reason why I grouped these three days is because we had three write-in’s in three consecutive days! Yes, three! We started on Friday with our regular spot during November, the Library. Our group’s honorary member came all the way from Sweden to re-join us. It was wonderful to see her again and to be able to have three meetings in a weekend. It really helped me to up my word count. On Friday I joined the meeting later than expected and I had to leave earlier because I had another appointment which makes it obvious why the word count on Friday was relatively low. However on Saturday we had a meeting at the Ikea! Yes, if your Swedish friend joins you all the way in the Netherlands for a weekend of writing take them to the one and only local Swedish Furniture Giga-store. We had a good laugh about that as well. But over here in the Netherlands the Ikea stores have a huge cafeteria area where we can sit down, use their electronic outlets, have a drink (and free refills) and food for a very nice price. We arrived around noon and left the store at eight thirty PM. Yes, that was an eight hour write-in!!! I wrote 5000 words that day! I really needed that word count! So I was really happy, what I was especially stoked about was the fact that I really took a leap in my story. I added three chapters and it was almost like an outer body experience, the words just flowed and certain events which had all along been unclear to me. Even while I was plotting I wasn’t able to get them clear in my head, suddenly became extremely clear. I’ve had that a couple of times before and each and every time whenever I re-read those stories I can hardly believe that I am the one who wrote them. So at this point I have a really good feeling about my story.

The only downside to the weekend was that I didn’t make it to the goal that I set for myself. I really wanted to reach 20k. That would have been awesome, it would mean that I wrote 10k in three days! It was too much, I wasn’t that far off but I just couldn’t go on.

Word count Friday: 730
Word count: Saturday: 5065
Word count: Sunday: 3553

National Novel Writing Month 2015-11-16 19-17-00

Monday November 16th, Tuesday November 17th and Wednesday November 18th

I know I’m not doing well at all and I really doubt that I will make it this year. There is a situation in my personal life which is taking up all of my attention and most of my energy. I’m trying really hard to use my writing as a way to deflect the anger and disappointment I’m feeling. Yet a lot of my time is being consumed by talking to my parents and sister on the phone and trying to find the information we need so desperately.

Monday November 16th – Word count Monday: 304
Tuesday November 17th – Word count Tuesday: 796
Wednesday, November 18th – Word count Wednesday: 517