I did it.
I ‘deleted’ my Fanfiction.net account. Apparently you can’t actually delete it, which I think is strange I am allowed to delete every story and give my account a strange username which no one will ever find and use a temporary e-mail address. But even though it’s empty you can’t delete it. Even if I would have wanted to revive the account again I couldn’t do it, I made sure of that.
Before I did anything rash I have to admit that I made sure that I downloaded all of my fics, made screenshots of all the information about the stories, stats and more. I also made screenshots of all the reviews I’ve received over the years. Many of them are positive or at the very least constructive criticism – that you can work with and learn from. And there are also some flames, mostly from anonymous reviewers, which I don’t take too serious because usually I got flames for the fact that 90% of my work is based on femmeslash (girl-on-girl relationships). It’s quite funny to see that warning people two, three times before they start reading a story that a story is femmeslash doesn’t suffice and they feel the need to flame you.
Anyway that is not what this is about. I actually used Scrivener to make a decent back-up. For myself, for future reference. Who knows what will happen, maybe I’ll take a look at those stories at a later time and decide to post some of them again. There are definitively a couple I’m really proud off. It has become quite a big database and I’m proud of that. To be honest some of the numbers are simply baffling. I started my account on Fanfiction.net on April 5th 2003 and I last used it in 2014. There were a couple of stories which I never finished – so-called WIP’s (works in progress).
For this past year and a half I haven’t been working on anything fanfiction related … nothing. Not a single word. Since I’ve been watching plenty of shows in the meantime – I’ve been loving plenty of story lines and characters for that matter – so there have been opportunities enough to write something. But I haven’t, which made me decide that it is time to delete the account. I felt like I was trying to give people the impression that I would update my stories if I kept it open. And I know that is not going to happen.
If I ever feel the need to start posting something I will read through it and adapt it before posting it again. And I will never again post something which is not completed. Because it will make it easier to not get pulled in by the comments reviewers make. The story is done and you don’t have to change direction, for me it was sometimes difficult to say no when someone asked me to show a certain scene or go a certain route. Sometimes I felt like it was more about pleasing the reader than telling the story I wanted to tell.
It’s the end of an era, that is what it feels like however I’m not sad about it. It was a great run, I have done some cool things and I wrote some good stories and some I rather not think about. But it was a learning process and I certainly learned a lot.
Who knows what the future will bring, for now I’m going to focus on some courses I’m following and on my original story.