So I had already set myself up for a total Nanowrimo fail! Not that I was pessimistic about my story or that I was stuck or anything. It’s just that there was so much I had to figure out during these last couple of weeks. And my personal life was causing so much stress that I couldn’t really get any writing done.
As a matter of fact the little writing that I did get done feels really good to me. I feel like I’m really working on something interesting here and I’ve never felt this way before. Well that’s not completely true, I’ve felt this way before once. At the time I was really angry about something that happened with some of my favorite television show characters or rather the actors. It doesn’t matter who it was but two actors were fired over something really minor stuff that happened. The thing was that immediately after these actors were fired there was talk about different actors replacing them. Literally, as in going to be the same characters. In my honest opinion that is never a good idea. It really ticked me off and I decided that I rather had two major characters – who I loved – die then see them replaced over such a small issue. I wrote a scene that in my eyes did justice to the situation and gave the fans a ‘satisfying ending’ to these character – if that was even possible. I sat down started typing and didn’t stop till I was done. I was completely immersed in the scene and to this day if I re-read that particular story I am still doubting that I’m the person who wrote that. I know that I did, however there is something different about it. Something which I can’t really put my finger on. This happened years ago and has no real relevance today because the television channel caved under the pressure of the social network following – it was the first time I witnessed what fans can achieve – in and took both actors back. And both of them served out most of the remaining years on the show. No, I’m not talking about Paget Brewster and AJ Cook this time.
As I said this happened years ago and it has no real relevance to Nanowrimo 2015, the reason why I’m telling you this is that during this for me personally extremely difficult month I achieved to write my story with that exact same feeling. I was stressed out, had a lot of anger inside of me because of the way I’ve been treated by people who I trusted. So it would only be natural to assume that I wouldn’t really be able to set those feelings aside and that it would have influenced my writing. However when I had a little bit of spare time and I actually was able to sit down I could put all of that aside and get completely immersed in my story. It’s an amazing feeling and it gave me time to relax. And that is why I feel so good about my writing this year. Do I know if it is any good. Not yet. So far I haven’t been reading what I’ve written so I don’t know. But I am really grateful that the crap that has been going on in my personal life has happened in this month. Because I don’t think that I could have stayed this positive if I didn’t have Nanowrimo this month.
And I’ve surpassed a number I never imaged possible this month! I reached 40 000 words! I know that if I want to reach my goal I have to be done tomorrow night. I’m not sure if I will reach that goal but I’m much closer than I ever imagined possible. My writing has been going really slow, you can see it in my stats, but I had a couple of awesome days and since the situation that I was in kind of came to a conclusion on Wednesday the 25th I have been having one awesome day after another. Purely because the biggest stress factor is gone and because I’m in the zone with this story. It’s crazy.
I was happy with each and every word I have written during this month but now that I’m this close …
Who knows, I might just make it after all.